She was never loved by anyone. All failed to see the beauty of her smile, her shining eyes, her long gone youth and her amazing serenity. They all failed to see her in fact. Living with a heartless husband for the past 50 years Samyukta expected nothing great out of life anymore. She was satisfied to be a grandmother of a healthy young bunch, a proud mother of three children happily married into their lives. She didn’t disturb their peace just as she had never disturbed anyone’s.
She demanded nothing. Only gave. As much as she could. Youth had blossomed long back and gone with the many beautiful springs. But her life continued the same. She was an ideal daughter who gave to her family, an ideal wife who gave to her husband and an ideal mother who gave to her children.
Even now she gave as she served her sick husband in his death bed, with kindness compassion and patience and a strange kind of sadness. The house would be empty without him. No more screaming at her, no more stinging remarks, no more fear of his fury. To another it might seem like relief but strangely enough she was so used to this that she didn’t know what life would be like without him. Anyways she wasn’t thinking of that today. Today’s duties were to get the pain killers from doctor sahib’s clinic. No medication would work anymore and it was only painkillers that were left. She prayed as she entered sahib’s clinic hoping this would provide some relief to the dying man in extreme pain. “Mrs. Rao, please come in.” A kind voice beckoned her in. The doctor’s eyes were so kind it almost moved her to tears. He knew the pain the family was in and he had been as sweet as he could to help out. “Mrs. Rao why did you come yourself? You should have called me. I would have sent Vijay over. He could have gotten the medicines to your house.” “Thank you so much doctor but I just felt why trouble you. Anyways we owe you so much already. You have been more than kind to us.” Tears glistened from nowhere in her eyes. So used to a harsh life, the slightest bit of affection would move her deep inside.
Samyukta born to a rich merchant was the youngest of four children. Her mother had died shortly after her birth and she was raised by a busy father who had little time for her and a phlegmatic step mother who didn’t care to show any love to her step kids. Marriage had seemed like a beautiful new beginning but it just turned out to be a way into another hell. In the early 50’s in a small town in India Samyukta’s future could only be shaped by the fate of how good her husband would be. It was a lottery system. And they picked Aditya Rao, a handsome rich bachelor from a family matching hers. She remembered taking a sneek peek from behind the curtains at the handsome stranger she was going to marry. She had given him her heart even before seeing him. But she was in for a rude awakening. With money and beauty Aditya also had a temper which could raise hell.
She was suddenly shaken out of the moment. The memory of her husband screaming at home set her running back. She said a hurried Namaste to the doctor and made her way back to the house. The kids had been wanting to help out. But how long could they stay? After all they too had their lives to be worked out. She had insisted that they would be fine and she would call for help when needed. But today suddenly she felt weak. There was something about the color of the sky. The dark clouds had gathered over to feed the thirsty earth and something about their color seemed like a bad omen to her. She hurried her steps back home not caring about the red mud sticking to her white saree. She had sneaked out to get the medicines as her husband slept. This had become a daily ritual to get all her chores done as he rested and then to rush back to him. To the screams of pain and anger at the pain which he directed at her. But today as she stepped inside the house it was still quiet and she felt the same twinge of fear lurking inside. She went in tiptoeing so she wouldn’t disturb him had he been sleeping. After all it was so hard for him to sleep these days inspite of all the medication and she hated to wake him up by mistake.
Surprisingly enough, he was awake she noticed. And he wasn’t screaming or angry, instead she saw small salt water ponds making their way from his eyes to the embroidered bed sheet. “Smayu!” he said in a tone very unlike him. “Come here please.” She followed his direction and sat besides him on the ground like she usually did. No no he said with a motion of his head and patted his hand on the bed beside him. She was shocked but too obedient to ask, she did just as told. Today was really different. He held her hand. “Ji” she said with respect. “I will get you the medicine.” “No no forget about it.” he said “It wont help anymore. I was waiting for you. For you to come back. I had to say something. I have been a fool Samyu. A bigger fool than ever. It took me so long to realize the treasure I had. To realize your worth. I troubled you so much. Forgive me Samyu. Please forgive me.” “Ji please don’t say such things. I hold nothing against you. Please don’t worry about anything. It doesn’t matter.” “No it does, I never made life easy for you. I never appreciated you. Maybe it is the pain of death or this disease. But today Samyu I wanted to tell you one thing. Please forgive me. I was a fool. And I only realize it now when nothing can be done. But I wanted to tell you one thing. That no matter what I did in my strange way I always loved you. From the time I saw your feet behind the curtain when you were trying to see me years ago. I fell in love with you at that moment. I was stupid and never expressed it but I love you Samyu.” He couldn’t hold his breath longer. Blood splurged out from his deep coughs until he closed his eyes on her lap. She held his hand as he entered another world. Just as they held hands the day they married.
And today for the first time in life Samyukta felt the taste of love. As the rain fell on the dry earth and fulfilled her thirst, Samyukta’s life was fulfilled. A fresh scent from wet mud pervaded the room as silence reined the quiet evening.
Posts
